Canonical · Negotiation & Persuasion · Book

Nonviolent Communication

Marshall Rosenberg · 2003

"Most conflict is fueled by moralistic judgment disguised as fact — replacing 'you're being selfish' with a plain statement of observation, feeling, need, and request removes the blame that makes people defensive."

The idea

A clinical psychologist who mediated in war zones and gang conflicts built a communication method on a simple bet: almost every accusation is a poorly worded, unmet need — and needs are far easier to negotiate than accusations.

Why it works

The takeaway — recall it first

Crucial Conversations

"When stakes are high, opinions differ, and emotions run strong, most people either go silent or go aggressive — and the way back to a productive conversation is to make it psychologically safe before you try to make it right."

Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan & Al Switzler · BookContinue→